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DestinAsian | The Cosmopolitan
THE COSMOPOLITAN OF LAS VEGAS ISSUE: Winter 2011-12 DEPT: DestinAsian STORY: Anna Park
The stylish terrace studio offers plenty of eye candy inside, right, and out (yup, that’s the terrace view overlooking the Bellagio water fountains).
For someone who isn’t into gambling or tanning, Vegas never held much allure. That is, until The Cosmopolitan came along. Over-loaded with style in every velvet-tufted niche, The Cosmopolitan is just a year old and already one of the hottest properties on a strip of hot properties. Everything is geared towards a more chic experience, from stiletto sculptures and fashion wall art, to the mismatched chair lounges complete with vintage pool table. Even their take on the obligatory all-you-can-eat buffet, Wicked Spoon, is done with panache: an abundance of vegetarian options, delicate small plates and portion-controlled servings. (What other buffet offers roasted bone marrow on brioche toast, duck meatballs, or a made-to-order mac and cheese station?)
The hotel’s pièce de résistance, however, is The Chandelier, a three-story bar dripping in curtains of dazzling crystals. Sipping a toasted marshmallow cocktail ensconced within its twinkling walls is enough to bring out the girly girl in anyone. Details CosmopolitanLasVegas.com. -
Plugged In | The Monogamy Experiment with Amy RiderISSUE: Winter 2011-12 DEPT: Plugged In STORY: Melody Lee
When she’s not portraying the smart, witty Alice Valko in ABC Family’s The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Amy Rider is producing, directing and starring in her own web series, The Monogamy Experiment. Rider, whose mother is Japanese, gives us the inside scoop behind her not-so-secret life.
Audrey Magazine: Tell us about The Monogamy Experiment. Amy Rider: It’s a film first and foremost, but we released part of it as a web series. It’s about a couple who’s too young to marry and decide to investigate whether people are biologically monogamous, so they try having an open relationship for 30 days. AM: What was your inspiration for it? AR: A lot of my friends have tried the whole open relationship thing and I just couldn’t wrap my head around how it would work out.AM: What have you gained from the experience so far? AR: I’m happy that I learned so much about what it’s like behind-the-scenes. I really, really like it. It’s very fulfilling in ways that I don’t get to experience through acting. I was challenged in a manner that I was never exposed to, but it was satisfying in other creative ways. Details TheMonogamyExperiment.com. — Melody Lee -
Personalities | The Reluctant Star: Dia Frampton
As the runner-up on The Voice, Dia Frampton, who just dropped her solo album debut, loves songwriting and recording. Performing? Not so much. ISSUE: Winter 2011-12 DEPT: Personalities STORY: Y. Peter Kang
Singer Dia Frampton has a major case of stage fright. The producers of NBC’s The Voice, a reality TV singing contest which Frampton narrowly lost last summer, definitely played up the Utah native’s shy personality, portraying her as a shrinking violet. In many cases, reality TV is far from reality, but for Frampton it wasn’t that far from the truth. “I probably went pee like every five minutes before I went on because I was so nervous,” says Frampton in a telephone interview. “I think it’s just recently come to the point where I don’t enjoy performing very much. It feels wrong to say that — I love songwriting, I love recording, but when it comes to performing I get so nervous it’s not fun for me sometimes.”But the 24-year-old, whose father is Dutch and mother is Korean, says she is working on it. She’s started to take acting classes to help conquer her stage fright. “It’s getting me to take myself out of myself and it’s been really helpful,” she says. She doesn’t have much time to conquer her fears since she’s set to go on a 26-date tour in January opening for country star Blake Shelton, who served as her mentor on The Voice. Frampton, once part of indie rock sister act Meg & Dia, will play songs off her solo debut album Red, released by Universal Republic in early December.The doe-eyed singer collaborated with a number of notable names in the music industry for the album, including Mark Foster and Isom Innis of indie pop band Foster the People, and Isabella Summers of Florence and the Machine. On top of that, the first track off the album, “Don’t Kick the Chair,” features rapper Kid Cudi. Frampton describes the music as pop, but with her signature. “It was kind of weird at first because I think pop is associated with bad things in a way,” she says. “When I think of pop I think of auto tune and people dancing around in their underwear, but I’m excited and proud. It’s pop done well and we tried really hard to keep what’s special to me.” — Y. Peter Kang -
Cover Feature | Keeping Up With KalingExecutive producer and star of the hit NBC series The Office, Mindy Kaling is taking over pop culture with a new blog, a new screenplay, a new TV deal, and her new book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?. ISSUE: Winter 2011-12 DEPT: Cover Feature Photos Diana King Hair Alex Polillo Makeup Mylah Morales Wardrobe stylist Karla Welch Photo assistant Kevin Kozicki Location WaterMarke Tower, Los Angeles Calif. Editor Janice Jann
It's hard not to be charmed by Mindy Kaling. For starters, the woman is hilarious. Ninety-nine percent of the things she writes, says, directs, and tweets makes you laugh. (Sample tweet: “I will never cheat on you but I may gain 100 pounds which is a different kind of betrayal. #unusual- weddingvows.”)
She’s also whip-smart. In her debut book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), the Ivy League graduate, in her own words, “kind of killed it in college. You know that saying ‘big fish in a small pond?’ At Dartmouth College, I was freakin’ Jaws in a community swimming pool.” (Did we already mention she was hilarious?)
She’s thoughtful. She apologized profusely for constantly rescheduling our interview and called five minutes early so we would be able to chat longer. B.J. Novak, Mindy’s The Office co-exec producer, writer, star and friend, has said this about her: “Mindy has long been considered the best writer on The Office, and every actor on the show thinks she writes for them best. There is the extra little ‘smile’ that infuses her scripts, which is hard to quantify. As a person, she’s incredibly sentimental, more than anyone I’ve ever met, but she’s also incredibly sharp. She’s unabashedly both.” These admirable traits have propelled Mindy into a force to be reckoned with in Hollywood. At only 32, Mindy has been nominated for an Emmy, published her first book, and sold a screenplay. She is developing a TV show, boasts more than 1.5 million Twitter followers, and relaunched her popular blog, TheConcernsofMindyKaling.com. About her packed schedule, Mindy simply says, “You make time for what you love.” We chatted with the Indian American entertainer about everything from the audacity of having had a happy childhood to not getting stuck in a box. Audrey Magazine: So Mindy, since I just finished your book last night and I pretty much know all about you, I guess we’re done with the interview. Mindy Kaling: [Laughs] I’m glad you walked away feeling that way. AM: Was it hard for you to crank this book out? MK: At the beginning, it was very hard. I’m used to [writing scripts]. The book is very dialogue-heavy cause that’s my forte, but it was very daunting ‘cause I was thinking about all the great essayists. But no one has this expectation that I’m going to write this Joan Didion work of art — they want a book with fresh observations that’s funny and personal. That made it easier. AM: Was it difficult for you to share so much about your personal life in the book? MK: I’m a pretty open person in general, so I have the privilege of being open because my life isn’t full of tawdry details and wild stories. I can be very opinionated because I don’t have anything to hide. When I talk about my childhood, I had a very fun one. You get this weird problem where it’s like, nobody wants to read about someone with an idyllic childhood with great, responsible, fun parents. But that’s actually not true — people love to hear about that.
AM: That does seem to be going against the trend of what the current hot memoirs are about nowadays.
MK: There are a lot of female writers coming out [where] what’s intrinsic to them is a level of raunchy details, which I’m not all that interested in reading or writing. Hopefully, this book will appeal to people who don’t need that.
AM: You talked about a great childhood with your parents. What’s your relationship with them like now?
MK: When I first moved back to L.A., I was so homesick I would visit my parents once a month. Then I became not so homesick and I would still visit them once a month. My parents are all-stars. I get so much out of our relationship, I’m just taking it for granted.
AM: Would you say you had a fairly untraditional Indian upbringing?
MK: One of the things that made it an untraditional Indian upbringing was that my parents didn’t meet in India — they didn’t have an arranged marriage. Another thing is they don’t speak any common Indian language so the only language they speak with us is English.
What was so great was when my parents were both younger, they had parents who kind of already decided what they were going to be and steered them that way. With my brother and myself, there was none of that. They saw that, at a very young age, I loved acting and writing and they kind of let me do that — not only let me do that but encouraged it a lot. Especially my dad. He was very encouraging of me following that path.
AM: In your book, you talked about a period in your life where you pretty much lived like a starving artist in New York City. How did your parents feel about that? MK: They were slightly anxious. But in college I had done so much theater that they had seen and loved, and I would show confidence. I don’t know where that came from. I was so confident and I expressed that to my parents. They were like, “Great, she’s so confident about it, why wouldn’t we be?” AM: Did you always feel like you were destined to become a writer-performer? MK: As confident as I feel, it takes an almost comically confident person to be able to say that they were destined to be in movies and television. I don’t think I was destined, but I think I am of the personality type where the rejection or odds of something doesn’t scare me. Maybe it was because my mom moved to Africa at 20 by herself, but there’s a certain fearlessness that runs in my family for things where there’s absolutely no reason to believe that it should work out. I get that from my parents. AM: You got your big break when you wrote the critically acclaimed play, Matt & Ben, spoofing Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Have you ever met either actor? MK: I’ve never met Matt nor Ben. They seem like pretty smart, cool guys. We did no research on them when we wrote that play so I have no idea what their personalities are like at all. Our portrayals of them were not based on anything real. It was definitely an absurdist play. I bet they don’t even really know or remembered that this play existed. They’re both movie directors and famous actors. [Laughs] They just seem like nice guys.AM: From that play, you got a job at age 24 writing for The Office with creator Greg Daniels. In your book, you write about your quarrels with Greg. Does he know you wrote about that? MK: I was really scared to show that part to him. I don’t think any grown man wants to be seen fighting with his younger female employee, but I think the fact of the matter is that he doesn’t have a fighting personality, so that he would fight with me is kind of my fault. But it’s fine; we’ve come to an understanding about our volatile relationship. I noticed the people that I fight with the most, I have the longest relationships with. AM: You two obviously have a great working relationship as you’ve just been promoted to executive producer of The Of- fice this season. Congrats! Do you have more responsibilities now? MK: Now that the cast has gotten so big, I do feel more responsibility. There’s a thing called “running a room” where you’re in charge of everyone in the writer’s room. I used to be one of those people checking my Blackberry and now I’m one of those people annoyed at the people checking their Blackberry. I became management, which was interesting ‘cause that’s not really my personality. AM: Speaking of management, you’ve also directed a couple episodes of The Office. MK: The first time I directed, I couldn’t sleep the night before because I was so terrified. When you’re directing, you’re making more decisions. I had to make more decisions in a day than I had in the previous two months. To the point where you’re like, “Stop asking me questions, people.” You have to be very patient as a director and I’m a very impatient person. But I love directing. You have the final say. No one else can get in the way of that. Especially on a show like The Office where the network largely lets us do what we want to do, directing is fantastic. Especially if I’ve written and directed an episode. I don’t even have to run an idea by the writer — I am the writer. That’s a fully realized medium. I would love to keep directing. I think it’s really fun and I think I’m good. It’ll be great to do other projects. I’m really inspired by my friends who direct their own stuff, like Lena Dunham (Tiny Furniture). She’s so talented and inspirational. She was the one who encouraged me to direct my own movie.AM: You’re outspoken about your love of romantic comedies. Are you OK with the fact that they’re not really reflective of real life? MK: I’m pretty aware that like any movie, there are people who you see that you’re like, “That’s just like me!” I think Judd Apatow did that with his films. People actually said, “Oh, I’m seeing people like me and my life on film.” But I feel like people don’t care. Who would want to go to the movies to see a perfect reflection of themselves? There are parts of the romantic comedies you do want to see, like, what’s the fashion going to be like? AM: So what would be the ideal role for you? MK: That’s a good question. There’s an ideal role, and [there’s] the role I’ll most likely get cast as. Everyone’s dream role is to be a part of an ensemble in a movie by the Coen brothers. A small part in something like that. That would be ideal. AM: In a drama or a comedy? MK: Right now, I want to continue in comedy ‘cause that’s in my comfort zone. AM: There’s a lot of flack women in comedy have to take. If they’re funny, they can’t be too girly. If they’re too girly, they’re not funny. Or if they’re too into pop culture, they’re not smart, and vice versa. You’ve managed to get away with professing your love for Beyoncé and shopping, and still come across as smart, funny and someone people can take seriously. What’s your secret? MK: I think we’re only putting ourselves in boxes if we think we can only be a certain way. I play a character that’s kind of silly and I’m Mindy Kaling who likes to go shopping, and I resent anyone who makes me feel like I can’t do that. We don’t all have to be Supreme Court justices. We don’t have to all play someone that has their sh—t together ‘cause that somehow makes women look better. I’d rather play someone that looks very real to me and have my fans think for themselves. I do get criticized by women who think that because of who I am, I shouldn’t talk about shopping or be an emotional person, and I think, “Why?” Now you’re just putting women in another box where they can only be a certain way. I think that’s too bad. AM: With all the pop culture space you’re currently taking up right now, would you say you’re having a moment? MK: [Laughs] I have been more busy — I don’t know if that’s having a moment. I’d like to be busy and stay relevant for the rest of my life. I feel like I have something to say and this is the first time people are listening, but I hope I always have something to say. Like Tom Hanks. He’s been having a moment for, what, 30 years? That’s pretty great.
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DestinAsian | Chiva Som
ISSUE: Winter 2011-12 DEPT: Entertaining STORY: Elyse Glickman
The historic resort town of Hua Hin, Thailand (incorporated in the 1920s by King Rama VII), has authenticity in its favor, with local culture and natural beauty winning out over Phuket’s five-star flash and dash. Chiva Som, one of Southeast Asia’s most innovative wellness resorts, lies at the heart of this gorgeously unpretentious oasis, just a three-hour drive from Bangkok. Though it seems a little quiet at first, Chiva Som’s lush, fragrant compound opens like a lotus into a multi-dimensional, calming experience.
Chiva Som’s primary mission is to send guests home with a most lasting souvenir — better health habits, attained in most pleasurable ways. For this reason, personalization takes priority over pretension. Shortly after your first glass of crisp lemongrass iced tea made on-premise, a spa counselor will promptly set your personal wellness plan into motion, even steering you away from treatments you would pick if left to your own devices. Though a body scrub or facial may be tempting, the counselor may insist Reiki, Thai massage or their patented digestion- focused massage are more appropriate for your long-term well-being.
Fitness classes (everything from Thai boxing to Shaolin Wushu to golf), modifiable to every fitness level, are made more enticing with lush jungle greenery and laid-back fitness instructors. Chiva Som’s cuisine is delicious and informatively presented, with calories and specific nutritional benefits outlined in detail. Cooking classes incorporating a trip to Hua Hin’s food markets with Chiva Som’s chef are also available for an extra charge.
Though Chiva Som encourages guests to stay on property as much as possible, they do offer shuttles to Hua Hin’s bustling night market. An upscale alternative is the delightful Cicada Market (cicadamarket.net), staged only on weekends, featuring live jazz performances as well as handcrafted jewelry, clothing, textiles and objets d’art sold by their creators in a tidy maze of open air boutiques. Details ChivaSom.com.
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Personalities | Man of Mystery: Sendhil RamamurthySendhil Ramamurthy fights back as a CIA operative on Covert Affairs. ISSUE: Winter 2011-12 DEPT: Personalities STORY: Jimmy Lee
A warning: Cockblocking can be hazardous to your health. Especially if your college fraternity brother is now a writer on the hit TV show you’re starring in, and he thinks you got in his way when it came to getting the ladies. It’s one possible reason why Sendhil Ramamurthy’s chiseled features were on the opposite end of a fist so often on Heroes. “I’ve never seen anybody get punched in the face as much as Suresh did. I mean, he got manhandled,” said Ramamurthy, referring to his character on the now-defunct NBC series, last July at Comic-Con. “I think he enjoyed just pummeling me, and bloodying me up. “I was like, dude, I was not your problem,” the 37-year-old remembered telling his frat friend. “As flattering that you think I was the problem, it wasn’t that.” Now on the hit USA Network series Covert Affairs,” Ramamurthy gets to do some of the pummeling. “Oh, it’s coming, don’t you worry about it. I just did a scene last week where I ....” He paused before continuing. “Yeah, it’s coming.” Keeping secrets is just a part of what the son of Indian American immigrants does as CIA operative Jai Wilcox, in addition to wooing women and killing bad guys. And there’s one thing his new character has in common with Suresh: an air of mystery. What Jai’s motivations are and who his allegiances are with (maybe the show’s star, Piper Perabo?) have been kept under wraps. But expect some revelations during the second season’s second half, which began in November. “You can expect Jai to do whatever he needs to do to get what he wants. I look at him as quite Machiavellian,” said Ramamurthy. Though Ramamurthy is probably done stealing away any more women — he’s now married with a daughter — it sounds like Jai is not done wooing hearts.— Jimmy Lee -
The Awful Truth | Grading the Hall Pass
A week off your relationship? A celebrity one-night stand? A mutually agreed upon hall pass may sound like an easy A, but columnist Paul Nakayama reminds us why that’s just cheating. ISSUE: Winter 2011-12 DEPT: The Awful Truth STORY: Paul Nakayama
Recently, I chatted with my editor at Audrey’s Fashion Night Out. It was nothing too cerebral, since I can’t speak intelligently about politics, the economy, science, literature or really anything besides video games or comic books. (How is a geek like me the relationship columnist, you ask? A steady delivery of cupcakes to a certain office in Gardena helps.) Nonchalantly, she turned to me and asked, “What do you think about hall passes?” “Do they still use them in school?” I asked. “No, you know, where you get a week off from marriage and live the single life,” she said. My jaw dropped. “Your husband is right there!” I gasped. I mean, flattered, but I still gasped. “What?! No, not with me! I mean as your next topic for the column!” She exclaimed, wide-eyed and likely offended. I nodded understandingly. Oh. Right. Yes, that’s exactly what I was thinking, too. I took the awkward silence as an agreement on our new topic. And so here I am, the single guy talking about the troubles that married couples face. In the 2011 movie, Hall Pass, by the Farrelly brothers, Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis are unhappy with their married lives, so their frustrated wives give them a guilt-free week to party like single men. Essentially, they’re authorized to bang anyone if they can pull it off. I don’t know about you, but the premise alone sounds like entrapment. They might as well answer their wives when asked if they look fat. But that’s how the movie goes and, like any predictable comedy, they learn the error of their ways and learn to appreciate their marriages. Of course, in the real world, a story like that can only end in UFC- style beatdowns, dismemberment and the splitting of assets. But for the sake of adding a few hundred words to the column, let’s explore why a Hall Pass might come to be. I know a lot of married couples and, while they shall remain nameless, the number one complaint I get from the husbands is that sex is all but gone. They say they masturbate more now than when they were single, which means you should never shake hands with a married man. Either you’re too tired, she’s too tired, the kids won’t leave you alone or whatever the reason, sex is rarely as passionate or spontaneous or even available as it used to be. For some men, that’s like being the benchwarmer on a Super Bowl-winning team ... they’ll eventually ask themselves, “Why am I wearing this ring?” That’s not to say that the lack of sex is the biggest issue leading to a Hall Pass-destined marriage – it’s just the most common complaint I’ve heard. I’ve heard it so much that I’m starting to doubt the reasons why married men want man-caves. I’d assumed it was used as a mecca for video games and beer, but the truth might be closer to it being a den of rampant, desperate masturbation.Now, I’ve given you the reasons why I think Hall Passes could happen, but I should be fair and also give my reasons why, even as a single bachelor trying to live the life, they’re a bad idea. It’s not often that I allow myself to be cheesy in print, but I’m skeptical of Hall Passes because marriage is about building a life together with the things that matter most, and that’s got to be more important than one week of sex with Anne Hathaway. (Maybe ... still thinking ... no, marriage is more important.) Marriage is one of those promises that take so long to find and so much work to make that breaking it just doesn’t make sense to me. You break the rules once, and you’ll probably break them again. It’s kind of like quitting cigarettes — every now and then you’ll want a stick when drinking. And I want marriage, should I ever find myself in one, to transcend that sort of thing. Unlike comedies, I’m certain that most people can’t recover from a Hall Pass.Part of the draw of the Hall Pass is the fantasy of it all (while the other part is having sex with other people). The grass is greener and all that. Isn’t that why every couple eventually has a what-if talk about their celebrity hall passes? You know, where you each choose five celebrities that you’re allowed to sleep with if the opportunity ever presents itself. But, of course, it’s never supposed to happen. If anything, the celebrity hall pass is a device by which a couple can gauge how much they love each other. For example, let’s just say that Anne Hathaway was all like, “Take me, Paul. I know I’m on your celebrity hall pass list because I read Audrey.” I would have to politely decline and say, “I’m far too happy with my girlfriend to recreate my favorite scenes from Love and Other Drugs with you, Anne.” Because I choose my partner and because I value living. And vice versa, how would I feel if my girlfriend met Ryan Gosling at a party and he saved a puppy from a burning tent and then asked her, “I need to work on my incredible abs that even men can’t resist. You in?” I mean, at first, yeah, I’d be flattered that Ryan Gosling had the same taste in women as me, but then, I’d be like, “Wait a second ....” The celebrity hall pass is supposed to be a hypothetical that never comes to be. It’s a game. Otherwise, Hollywood celebs would have celebrity hall passes, too, right? Actually, I just checked TMZ, and I suppose it kind of seems like they do. They call it “dating.” All right, new rule. I’m only talking about us regular folks. Here’s the thing, though. I know married couples secretly do want a Hall Pass, of some kind anyway. How do I know this? Easy. I’ve been to a little place known as Las Vegas, the Hall Pass Capital of the World. At bachelor and bachelorette parties, do you know the craziest, rowdiest bunch? It ain’t the bride or the groom or the strippers, I’ll tell you that much. It’s the married folks. This is their vacation from marriage. Even if their lives are perfect with a giant home, perfect job, darling little kids, there’s something that becomes pent up inside of every good husband, wife, father and mother. Behind every puking bachelor/ette is a married person that wanted to get their drink on and party like they were single again. I’ve seen it. It’s terrifying.I think most married people forget how much it sucks to be single. They’ll say it every now and then, but it’s not a true recollection of the loneliness and desperation. Masturbating a lot as a married man? Please. That’s because you’re keeping count. Being single means always trying to find someone to share things with, and yes, those things include your penis or vagina. Ironically, despite the complaints about the lack of sex in marriages, the strikingly lonesome thing about being single is not the quest for sex; it’s the hunt for companionship. And that hunt can take years, so why ruin it for a week of fun? -
Feature Story | Booze ControlBOOZE CONTROL Studies indicate that nearly 40 percent of Asian American women drink alcohol and, while that’s less than the 55.2 percent national average, we are at a higher risk for all sorts of medical issues due to our binge drinking. So why do we do it? Editor Janice Jann investigates. ISSUE: Winter 2011-12 DEPT: Feature Story STORY: Janice Jann
As I lean over the toilet bowl, my hair grazing the rim, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the water. “Who is this puke-strewn girl, bleary-eyed and green-faced, with her pajamas on backwards, staring back at me?” I think to myself. I mutter, “Never again, never a—,” before nausea sweeps in. There have been many morning afters like this in the years I have been drinking, each time steeped with more regret than the last. Most of my peers have stories like mine. Many laugh, “Who hasn’t gone through it?” As normal as binge drinking has become, new studies indicate that Asian American women may want to hold off on that second cocktail the next time they drink for reasons more than just avoiding the toilet bowl the next morning. The most recent National Survey on Drug Use and Health revealed that the national average of alcohol use for all adults in the U.S. is 55.2 percent, while the national average for Asian Americans is 39.8 percent.Genetic factors play an important role in why Asian have lower rates of alcohol consumption, according to Tamara Wall, a University of California, San Diego professor of psychology and the director of Psychological Services for the Alcohol and Drug Treatment Program at the Veterans Affairs San Diego Healthcare System. Studies have shown that 30 to 50 percent of the Asian population have a gene, inactive aldehyde dehydrogenase 2 (ALDH2–2), which causes them to metabolize alcohol differently from people who do not have this gene. This manifests itself physically through headaches, nausea and facial flushing, a.k.a. the “Asian glow.” Jess, 24, can attest that facial flushing causes her to drink less. “I think if I didn’t have it, I’d be more open to having a casual cocktail with friends and clients,” she says. However, that hasn’t stopped her from binge drinking one recent weekend. Stressed out about her job and living situation for the past couple of months, she “needed a way to just vent and live in the moment.” According to Jess, “I was determined to let myself loose and it was actually my goal to drink until I didn’t remember anything at all.” After four double shots of tequila and two single shots, she did exactly that and stayed in bed sick until 4:30 the next afternoon. “I think it was the stress that had been piling on that pushed me over the edge,” she says.Using alcohol to self-medicate, to relieve stress or to forget problems, has become an increasingly common occurrence among women of the post-Baby Boomer age. As more women enter the workforce, they have to deal with the stressors of the 21st century: increasing challenges in their careers; cultural norms of the workplace, which often includes happy hours and two-martini lunches; motherhood and familial obligations; the list goes on. Christina, an attorney, agrees. When asked whether work causes her to drink more, she says, “Oh, definitely. That’s a definite issue. I think one reason why people drink so much, especially in my profession, is we’re pretty stressed out. We’re responsible for other people’s issues so when we do have a chance for release, it does get out of hand. Alcohol lets you forget about things for a moment. I knew of one associate who was so stressed, she used to drink every morning before going to work. It was a way to numb herself before she had to deal with the day.” Though Christina may drink out of stress, she also drinks to celebrate. “After I passed the bar exam, I went out with a friend and I was taking shots galore,” she remembers. “I drank so much tequila that it made me sick to my stomach. I just didn’t give a sh—t that day because I was so happy I passed.” By the end of the night, Christina “was sitting at my bathroom, wanting to die. You just wanted it to be over with. Every time something like that happens, I tell myself I will never do that again and it happens again.” Meky had a similar experience on her birthday. “I’m kind of embarrassed to say I got wasted on my 25th birthday and not, like, my 21st or something,” she laughs, thinking back to the celebratory weekend where she downed five Jack Daniel shots in less than an hour, was carried to her car on a friend’s back, and woke up the next morning, her clothes piled by the door.The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse defines binge drinking for women to be four drinks over a time span of two hours, but once you’ve hit that zone, it’s often difficult to stop at merely four drinks for the night. “It all starts tasting the same after a while,” says Christina. “You become desensitized after a certain amount.” What’s scarier is that blackouts and vomiting are not the only negative consequences associated with binge drinking. Wall cites an increase in dangerous behaviors such as driving while intoxicated and risky sexual activities. And even though the ALDH2–2 gene have put Asians at a lower risk for developing alcohol problems, it puts them at a higher risk for developing medical problems. Wall lists esophageal cancer, pancreatic cancer, hepatitis and liver problems as common problems for Asian binge drinkers. “The data are pretty clear that if you have the [gene] and you drink heavily, you’re much more likely to developing head and neck cancer,” she adds.
Being an Asian woman, there are even more consequences to frequent binge drinking. In a 2008 New York Magazine article, Susan Foster of the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University said, “There are huge differences in the way our bodies metabolize alcohol. Women have less body water and more body fat than men. The water dilutes the alcohol in the bloodstream, and will stay in her body longer, even if she is the same size as the guy.” What that means is that women get inebriated with lower levels of consumption at a faster rate. Additionally, alcohol has been known to interfere with fertility and increase the risk of breast cancer. Some researchers believe that a woman who has four drinks a day would increase her nongenetic chance of developing breast cancer by 32 percent.
Freaked out yet? Researching this story has made me think twice about reaching for that soju bottle again at our next staff happy hour. Now, instead of just dreading how I’ll feel trying to get the alcohol out of my system, I’ll also worry a little about what it’s doing inside my body. Just thinking about it stresses me out so much I want to grab a drink. So what are some alternatives for a lush like me?“Working out is probably a more positive avenue,” says Christina about dealing with work pressure. “I find as I get older, I try things like meditation courses to help me not think and stress out as much.” Moderation is also key. “The standard guidelines for women is you shouldn’t drink more than one drink per day, nd for men two drinks,” says Wall. Sure, a mere one drink a day could be a buzzkill, but at least I’m at a lower risk for killing myself faster. -
DestinAsian | Zozi
ZOZI ISSUE: Winter 2011-12 DEPT: DestinAsian STORY: Anna Park
Mt. Tam hiking experience.
Ever since we got married, I haven’t opened a single birthday gift from my husband.
No, he’s not a cad; he just treats me to my preferred way of celebrating another year gone by — jetting off to some remote part of the world for a two-week holiday. For me, no gift is better than traveling and experiencing something new and amazing.
Zozi just made my husband’s job easier. The travel company, touted as a “local experience and adventure marketplace,” offers bite-sized adventures ranging from abalone diving to cycling wine tasting tours, from manning a plane to a wilderness training course. And don’t think it’s one of those über pricey, chi-chi adventures; packages start
around $20. Spring for a $60 sumo-suit wrestling session, or splurge on a $2,800 great white shark diving trip.
A recent Cornell University study found that “experiential purchases,” versus consumer goods, may make people happier because positive experiences help shape our personalities. Sure, a Chanel 2.55 may be an ego boost, but think what it’d do for your self-esteem to conquer Everest. Details Zozi.com.
— AMP -
Personalities | Boy Wonder: BooBoo Stewart
Multi-talent BooBoo Stewart may be just 17, but his résumé is already as long as the rest of his career promises to be. ISSUE: Winter 2011-12 DEPT: Personalities STORY: Melody Lee
At just 17, Booboo Stewart, born Nils Allen Stewart, Jr., is not short on talent. Stewart, who is of Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Russian, Scottish and Native American descent, not only acts but sings, dances, writes and draws comic books, and is a martial arts champion. He started out acting and doing stunt work on television, while balancing a music career, touring with the likes of Miley Cyrus and Disney’s T-Squad. His career got a major boost when he landed the part of Seth Clear- water in Eclipse, the third installment of the popular Twilight series. For Stewart, who tries to watch at least one movie a day, being involvedin a big Hollywood production like Twilight “has been like a dream come true.” He remembers one time on set, “it was freezing cold, but the fans didn’t care. I was waiting downstairs in the [hotel] lobby and this huge group of girls was screaming outside — it was insane.” It’s something the good-looking teen will probably have to get used to now that he gets more screen time in the final two films in the series, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1, in theaters now, and Part 2 out November 2012. Stewart is currently shooting the upcoming independent film White Frog as the lead, Nick Young. “A lot of people, say, were in a bigger movie and they hear about this smaller film and they’d be like, ‘I don’t really want to do it,’” he says. But he saw the role — a teen with Asperger’s Syndrome — as “a once in a lifetime opportunity.” He admits playing the part took a toll on him, but “the set was the happiest set I’ve ever been on. Everyone was just having a good time.”Stewart stays busy with a number of other projects in the works, including the animated feature Guardians of Luna, and a new album with his sister, Fivel, expected to drop later in 2012. Don’t be surprised if you also see a comic book with his name on it. BooBoo Stewart, apparently, is just getting started. — Melody Lee
Post by Janice • February 28, 2011 • Post a comment
I never have been nor ever will be a tiny Asian girl. I’ve always been a chubby kid — it’s evident in my baby pictures which bear remarkable resemblance to Notorious B.I.G as I sit there big-cheeked, big-thighed, staring into the camera with a scowl (I was probably hungry). It was evident from my pants split at the butt-cracks because I was so booty-licious, no amount of fabric or denim could hold it in.
My large size never did me any favors. I was teased mercilessly — none harder than by my stick-thin entertainment industry-driven family. Because we were all aspiring actors, models, stage-moms and daddies, being slim wasn’t merely an aesthetics pleasure, it was a business model.
As I went through puberty, I had a growth spurt propelling me to a 5’7″ height. My baby fat also dissipated over time.
You’d think that would have made things easier. It did and it didn’t. I realized that I just had a slower metabolism than the rest of my family (and Hollywood, apparently) and I was literally big-boned. And because I was thinner, my family was finally able to imagine me with a future in showbiz so the pressure to be svelte increased. (Whereas before, in my chubbier state, the thought never even crossed our minds). My shape became something that consumed my mind. In college, I would exercise at least two hours a day in the hopes of losing weight. My extreme workout (for me at least) only made me hungrier so I would pile up come dinnertime and end up gaining weight. I never knew how to get it right.
Until I discovered the best weight loss secret in the world. Wanna hear it?
Ok…
Here it is…
It was actually valuing my body as opposed to wanting it to look a certain way. I was exercising because I liked building lean muscles that made my body strong and eating more vegetables and fruits because they perked up my energy and made my skin better and lightened my mood. Diets don’t work — everyone knows it. Lifestyle change, mentality change does. I’m still not Sports Illustrated-ready but I’m a whole lot more confident in my image. And who knows, maybe one day, Sports Illustrated will take me just as I am, small boobs, big butt, jiggles and all.
There are still many in my life who are going battling forms of eating disorders. Many are driven Asian Americans who want to control some aspect of their lives because they are unhappy with others aspects. The more we step up to the plate and tell them, hey, this is a problem you need to address, the more positive results we’ll see. The thicker we build our skins so that when people criticize us and call us fat, we’ll say, “so I’m not size 0, so what?” the more of an encouragement, empowerment we will be for others.
Actress Lynn Chen
I’m proud to say Lynn Chen and Lisa Lee feel the same way.
In June of 2010, Lynn Chen started a food blog, The Actor’s Diet, after years of battling eating disorders. At the beginning of 2011, she stumbled upon an interview on NPR with Lisa Lee, in which Lisa discussed the story she wrote for Hyphen magazine about her past struggles with food and body image. Needless to say, Lisa found herself doing extreme dieting to cut weight and found herself losing control when the pounds started coming back.
Hyphen's Lisa Lee. Love a girl who can eat.
What made Lynn perk up her ears was that Lisa talked about how being Asian specifically played into her obsession over being skinny. After listening to and reading Lee’s story, Lynn immediately knew they had to connect.
“I didn’t even know what I wanted from Lisa, but I felt compelled to start something,” Lynn says. “I’ve been looking for something concrete regarding Asians and body image for years. When I first began my therapy in my 20s, I had contacted various national eating disorder groups to see if there were any support groups for Asians. I was left at a dead end, and the messages I got over the next decade were that eating disorders and body image were not problems that affected people in my community. “
This myth was shattered when Lynn received numerous emails from her blog readers, both men and women all over the world, who admitted their past and current struggles with food, and felt the pressure to look thin. Like Lisa, Lynn realized that their problems were not just about will power – they’re social, cultural, and familial.
The two women connected over their experiences via emails, phone calls, and in-person at a tasty scones cafe (of course), and together, they decided to launch this site – “Thick Dumpling Skin” – to provide a space for everyone who may have felt alone in their struggle.
“We wanted to create a place for Asian American men and women to come together, to share, to discuss, and more importantly, to find support for something that has been acknowledged on the surface, yet largely ignored in our community,” says Lisa.
Hopefully by reading the stories shared on this site and contributing one of your own, our self-esteem and confidence will rejuvenate and we will learn to love ourselves for who we are.
Here’s Lynn and Lisa sharing more about Thick Dumpling Skin.
Check out Thick Dumpling Skin here.
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