Aziz Ansari’s Cringeworthy Tale of Hitting on Blake Lively Through Text

 

Ladies, how many of you have ignored a text because you’re not interested in someone that way? You don’t want to hurt their feelings by leading them on and surely this silence will be enough right? They’ll get the point and you won’t have to go through an awkward rejection… right?

Wrong.

Some men (and women) are oblivious to these hints. That, or they’re just plain stubborn when it comes to getting a date. Although this behavior doesn’t come as a surprise from that one guy at the bar, the hook up from Vegas or even that old friend from high school, it is a bit of a shock to realize that celebrities are not immune to this cringeworthy sort of interaction.

 

 


Today, Blake Lively is a happily married and pregnant woman. But a few years ago, she was single and comedian Aziz Ansari was very, very aware of that.

Ansari recently appeared on “The Howard Stern Show” and told the story of meeting Blake Lively, as well as the awkward interactions that followed. Apparently, Ansari discovered that Lively was a fan of his. He eventually met the actress at an event where they bonded over food and exchanged numbers. Without missing a beat, Ansari texted Lively once the event was over.

 

“Hey, it’s Aziz. The Animal dinners are over now unfortunately, but I will show you photos from when I went. It was very tasty. Are you going to the Met Ball?”

 

Her reaction? No response.

Weeks later, Ansari ended up spotting her at the Met Ball along with Karl Lagerfeld after all. He decided to text her again.

 

Hey, it’s Aziz. Please tell Karl he needs to call me, it’s been too long since we bro’d out.”

 

Her reaction? No response.

Does this mean Ansari should have maybe taken a hint and stopped coming on too strong? He didn’t think so.

 

“I’m going to the Boom Boom Room for that afterparty. Hopefully this is your number? Either way, good seeing you.”

 

Image reproduction courtesy of Buzzfeed.

Image reproduction courtesy of Buzzfeed.

At this point, we’re cringing at the clear lack of response, but just when we’ve given up hope, Lively shoots him a text back.

 

“Maybe I’ll see you. So weird, Karl was just saying how bummed he was to miss you.”

 

Of course, Ansari jumped at the opportunity. He ended up finding her at the Boom Boom Room and sent her a text the following day.

 

“I feel so bad you had to fly to North Carolina after that party. It must’ve been rough. Karl and I partied at Boom Boom until 7 a.m. Got tacos the next day after and just had a beautiful spa day. Next time we are in the same city, let’s eat delicious food.”

 

Her reaction? No response.

We’re not quite sure if Ansari got the hint at this point. A few months later, he sent her an awkward text saying “Happy Holidays.” Yet again, she did not respond. Despite this cringeworthy interaction, Ansari seems to simply laugh about it now. While on air, he very humorously texted her one more time.

 

“Read these messages on Howard. Hope that’s cool. Doubt you’ll respond to this.”

 

On the bright side, it’s nice to know that we’re not alone– celebs are certainly capable of these awkward interactions just as much as we are. Who can say whether or not Ansari has learned from his bad text flirting. This stand-up piece suggests he hasn’t.

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Audrey’s Millennial Column: How to Avoid Bad Text Flirting

 

Back in the ’90s, the indie comedy Swingers popularized the “three day rule,” which said you had to wait three days to call someone once she’d given you her number. Supposedly, it was the perfect amount of time to let her know you were interested but not desperate. Because, you know, calling a girl any earlier obviously makes her think you want her babies. We wouldn’t want that now, would we? (Can you feel my eye roll?)

Flash forward to 2014, where this rule is basically nonexistent. Because let’s be honest here — who starts off with a call these days? Instead, our go-to method of breaking the ice is texting, and with this new avenue of flirting comes a whole new set of rules.

Now fellas, if you’re under the impression that you can’t ruin your chances with improper text flirting (and it is clear that many of you are under that impression), then this will be a rude awakening. You would think that texting generally results in fewer faux pas since people have time to think about what to say, but as it turns out, many still need a lesson or two on proper text flirting. Trust me, it’s pretty easy to come off as a creeper in a world where we all overanalyze smiley faces and ellipses …

But have no fear! We’re here to help you navigate through this complicated world of text flirting. If you’re doing any of the following, then I urge you to immediately stop. You’re not flirting; you just may be creeping someone out.


 

ONE WORD RESPONSES
If you were in a bar flirting with someone, you probably wouldn’t stick to one-word responses, right? So why on earth would you think that one-word responses would work out for you via text? No, these short responses sound just as uninteresting in text as they do in person. And if “sup” is actually the most charming and intriguing conversation starter you can think of, then even I don’t have the skills to help you.

 

BOREDOM
You: Hi :)
Me: Hi you, what’s up?
You: Nothing, just bored.
Me: ……………….

Please tell me why some people actually think this is flirting? Last I checked, this doesn’t make me feel like you legitimately want to talk to me. Honestly, it just feels like you couldn’t decide between texting or playing a game of solitaire. Go ahead and text your friends out of boredom, but don’t use this move in the text flirting world. You’re basically trying hard to seem uninterested when in fact you’re interested. See how that’s counterproductive?

 

PERSONALITY SWITCH
If I ever enter the online dating world, my biggest fear would be that I’d finally meet up with someone only to discover that they’re nothing like their profile description and chats. With my luck, the 6-foot, 25-year-old would turn out to actually be a 40-year-old with a bad habit of staring at cleavage. Am I maybe scaring myself by thinking the worst? Probably, but I digress.

The point is, you don’t want to have someone believe you’re one way via text, only to discover you’re a completely different person in real life. Texting can already feel rather impersonal. Don’t take it one step further by faking it.

 

ABRUPT AND INAPPROPRIATE
I will never understand this, but some guys like to abruptly stop your nice, innocent text conversation with inappropriate comments. I’m not talking about guys who try to make you laugh with a joke. I’m talking about boys who legitimately think a random outburst of lewd sexual requests will work. (Excuse me while I go throw up real quick.) If you don’t believe me on this one, go and check out straightwhiteboystexting.tumblr.com. Go on, I’ll wait.

Don’t be gross. It’s that simple. If I hardly know you and you decide to take the conversation there, you’re not being flirtatious. You’re just turning me off.

 

DRUNK TEXTING
Flirting is a rather tricky business in itself, and if you really like someone, I seriously doubt you’d want to ruin it with drunk texting. You could get emotional or inappropriate or end up regretting the words your intoxicated little fingers spelled out — legible or not. Worst of all, don’t send your ex flirtatious drunk texts. You’re basically asking for regret with that one. Friends don’t let friends drink and text. Remember that.

 

TEXT ON TEXT ON TEXT
Maybe you’ve just started to date someone and you can’t stop thinking about them. Ah, the honeymoon stage. As romantic as that is, I’m going to go ahead and guess that you both still have lives to live outside of each other. So try to make sure you give them some room to breathe. If they haven’t responded to your text from five minutes ago, it’s probably not the best idea to send them three more texts until they respond.

 

STAYING IN TEXTING PHASE
Yes, we certainly live in a world where texting is the initial platform for flirting, but don’t forget to move forward. You cannot get to know someone fully through text alone, so make sure you transition to phone calls, video chats and best of all, in-person dates. I know texting feels safe, but it’s never quite as good as in-person flirting.


 

I know it sounds like there’s a lot that can go wrong with text flirting, but as long as you stay away from these improper moves, you may just successfully avoid being a creeper after all. If you get nervous, remember that this is the easy part — there will be much more ways for you to mess up in person.

Just kidding. Kinda.

 

This story was originally published in our Fall 2014 issue. Get your copy here
Photo courtesy of www.alleywatch.com

 

 

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David Choi’s New Music Video Reminds Us To Stop Texting While Driving

Youtube star David Choi has joined forces with the AT&T “It Can Wait” campaign.

It is reported that 75% of teens believe texting while driving is normal among their friends. As expected, texting has quickly risen to be one of the major causes of car accidents and deaths. Because of this, the “It Can Wait” campaign aims to educate people, especially teens, on the dangers of texting and driving. Simply put– its not worth risking your life for a text. It can wait. The official website tells us more about their initiative:

Each pledge made to never text while driving is a symbol of commitment to be part of a movement that helps everyone make safe choices with their wireless devices on the road. Teens on average, text five times more a day than a typical adult. That’s a lot of texting! And drivers that text while driving are much more likely to be in a crash*. So we are partnering with teens to get the word out about the serious effect texting and driving could have on their friends, their loved ones and their future.

 

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“Chill Tonight” is David Choi’s new song and music video dedicated to the campaign. The lyrics remind us that couples can be sweet and understanding without texting one another while driving.

Choi was also able to include other stars such as Big Phony, Kero One, Arden Cho to participate in this video by taking the pledge themselves. Check it out for yourself below:

And what could possibly be cuter than David Choi writing a song for a good cause? That would be his excitement to spread the word about it.

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