Whether you’re in love, lovelorn or looking, Valentine’s Day pretty much sucks all around. I mean, the pressure! Pressure on him to come up with the perfect date! Pressure on you when all your female co-workers are getting flower deliveries and your desk sits lonely and unadorned! Pressure when asked, “So what did X do for you for Valentine’s?”
Screw the pressure! Get some control. Forward this post to your man ASAP. Subtlety gets you nowhere.
* Forget French cuisine; go with the culture that invented the Kama Sutra!
Restaurant, cafe and art exhibition space ROYAL/T is serving up a specially themed “Royal Indian” Valentine’s Day dinner for one night only. The 10,000 square foot space will be transformed into a rich, multi-sensory experience, with elegant jewel-toned fabrics, low lighting, and an indulgent, sensual meal crafted by Indian-born chef and cookbook author Kaumudi Marathé of Un-Curry.
When: February 14, 2011, from 6 to 10 pm
Where: Royal/T, Culver City, CA, 8910 Washington Blvd., Culver City, CA 90232
How: Menu items range from $8-30 each (not including tax and gratuity)
Reservations, which are recommended, can be made by calling Royal/T at 310.559.6300 ext. 4, visiting www.royal-t.org/cafe, or by emailing events@royal-t.org.
* Make her breakfast (and dessert in one fell swoop) in bed.
Pancakes? Red velvet pancakes? Red velvet pancakes in bed???
Jodi, the woman behind the brunch hotspot The Griddle Cafe, is known as the Willy Wonka of breakfast for good reason. I mean, feast your eyes on this baby:
Yeah, so if you want your woman to have the ultimate one-upper when her girlfriends all ask her what she did for Valentine’s, run out and get this pancake mix. You can thank us later.
Jenna Ushowitz of Glee wears one — why not your valentine? Olia’s sterling silver Make Love tag necklace makes such a cute statement.
Well, Olia got so excited about the plug, she’s putting all Valentine’s Day designs on sale. Just use the coupon code OhValentine at checkout to get 15 percent off on any of the items from the My Valentine Collection. My personal favorite is the gold “Kiss Me” heart pendant. Like those old-school candy hearts, but with a modern edge.
(Oh, and if you fancy something else on her site not in the Valentine’s Collection, you still get 10% off with the code YouToo.)

Jenna wearing Olias "Make Love" necklace, as seen on OK! magazine.
* If you must do lingerie, do it with style.
If our publisher had his way, Audrey’s Night Out would have been one big Victoria’s Secret fashion show. Instead, we featured cute and sassy lingerie from Nancy Yoo’s line Fleur’t. If you have to give your loved one lingerie for Valentine’s (don’t you know that’s really a gift for yourself???), check out some of the sweet and just-sexy-enough designs from Fleur’t.
* And last … star in your own romance novel
Yeah, you’ve seen those customizable books for kids — just insert little Bobby or Jane’s name in every page and the right hair color. They even let you record your voice reading the story.
Now think of that, but for adults. YourNovel.com turns you and your honey into the stars of your own romantic tale. The company customizes the stories using 25 details about the couple supplied in an online questionnaire.
Now, for some, this may be just cheese. But, hey, so is a hot air balloon ride, but couples still do it. Besides, there are plenty of newly-in-love couples who live for cheese during that first three-month you-can’t-do-no-wrong stage. (You might as well take advantage of just how easy it is to impress her right now; save the really creative gift giving for later, when you really need it.)
At the very least, think how really, really funny it’d be to read it together. I mean, picture it: You, your honey, and blood thirsty vampires. (Yup, they offer a vampire romance novel.) If that doesn’t get the blood pumping, I don’t know what will.