Ask Audrey Staff | Awkward Love Advice From Asian Parents

There is a saying that Asian parents and older Asians in general like inserting themselves in our lives. They want to pass on their knowledge and wisdom by giving their opinion on everything. Everything. They will tell us how we ought to handle school, how to keep our complexions maintained, and even enforce a handful of cultural urban myths that make absolutely no sense, but must be followed because the elders say so.

So when we finally reach an age where dating is acceptable to our parents (ie. the age we finally stop hiding our significant others from them), our parents and relatives believe thats it’s their born duty to give us love advice. Awkward? Yes. Makes no sense? Sometimes. Funny? Always.

Since we have an abundance of it, we’ve decided to share this wisdom and knowledge with you. Here is our own account of Awkward Love Advice From Asian Parents:

Disclaimer: These are all actual things that our parents/relatives have told us, but by no means do we actually believe in or endorse this advice at all. We find it just as awkward as you do.

shhhhh
“Don’t talk to him/her too much. Then you will run out of things to say and then you will start fighting. And then you will break up. No happy ending.”

date
“If you’re out on a date and he can’t decide what to order, he’s no good. If he keeps changing his taste in food, then he’ll change his taste in women.”

pale
“Don’t date men who are too pale. They are weak sexually.”

mother
“Check out the girls’ mother. That’s what she’ll end up looking like in 20-30 years.”

tux
“Marry someone who is ugly so he will never cheat on you.”

widows
“If you marry a girl with a widow’s peak, you would die early.”

make up
“When your husband gets home from work, put some makeup on so that you don’t look like a sick person. Men are visual creatures.”

mole
“If a man has a mole on his lips, thats good. It means he’s a good kisser. If a woman has a mole on her lips, thats bad. It means she gossips too much.”

mother son
“Be like his mother. Men like women who remind them of their mothers.”

MrsChangGlee
“Don’t be like his mother. Men hate when women remind them of their mothers.”

Emotional Cheating Vs. Physical Cheating

“Would you rather be physically or emotionally cheated on?”

Whenever I am asked this question, I always have the same response- I would, without a doubt, choose to be physically cheated on. By no means am I saying that being physically cheated on is a good option. I simply believe that being emotionally cheated on cuts deeper and hurts more. Much more.

When one is physically cheated on, this is often out of lust or attraction towards someone else. In fact, many individuals who have been the ones to physically cheat on their significant other (and when I say physically, I mean that there were no emotions involved what so ever) have admitted that this was a momentary fluke. It was usually an illogical (and often intoxicated) decision that was “in the moment” and with an individual that they could never realistically give their heart to. Many times, the specific individual that they chose for their infidelity didn’t actually matter.

Am I trying to justify physical cheating as a minor mistake that should be easily forgiven? Absolutely not. But the other option?

Being emotionally cheated on means that your significant other was able to see another person in the same light that was only suppose to be given to you. No longer is this a question of attractiveness or your significant other’s moment of poor judgment. These are actual emotions that have potential to be something more serious.

The scary part? You may never actually know when you’re emotionally cheated on. Emotional cheating does not necessarily have to be acted on or even told to you. Quite frankly, your significant other may not even know that they’re emotionally cheating simply because there’s no rulebook that specifies what emotional cheating is. Is it having a crush on someone? Is it having a emotional connection with another person? Is it even simply having thoughts of another person being “the one”?

Physical cheating can be measured and discussed. In fact, this happens often in relationships. Together, you two decide what’s okay and what crosses the line. For some, kissing is cheating. For others, simply dancing in the club with someone else is. But how do you tell your significant other that they’re not allowed to have a crush or have emotions for someone else when, arguably, that is out of their control?

Huffington Post recently tried to solve the mystery of what is considered emotional cheating by surveying 1,000 U.S. adults. They found this discovery:

Emotional Cheating lies in the eyes of the beholder
60% of people said that if their significant other developed a “deep emotional connection” with someone else, they would consider it cheating. Only 18% of people said it would not be cheating. When the question was flipped, however, and they were the ones who developed a deep emotional connection with someone else, only 50% of the people believed it was cheating and an increased 29% said it would not be.

Gender Matters
Men proved more consistent with their responses as opposed to women. About half of the men agreed that if they or their partner developed that emotional connection, it would be considered cheating. Women, however, were quick to change their response. If their partner developed the emotional relationship, 70% believed it would  be cheating. If they were the ones to develop the emotional relationship, only 56% believed it would be cheating.

So tell us what you think. What truly counts as emotional cheating? Do things like gender really matter in this situation. Is physical cheating worse than emotional cheating? Comment below
To view the survey, click here.

Is Your Face “Fling Material” or “Relationship Material”?

 

 

“What do you look for in a woman?”

In this day and age, it seems like we’ve heard all the responses. The romantic will talk about finding a girl with eyes that take his breath away. The realistic man will talk about a motivated and intelligent woman. The intoxicated guy at the bar will tell far too many details about the coke-bottle body he thinks he’s going home with that night (the keyword being “thinks”).

In what felt like an endless laundry list of traits, we thought nothing could surprise us. This was, of course, before we discovered that a man may actually determine what type of relationship he will have with you based on the shape of your face.

A recent study shows that the shape of your face may determine whether you are “fling material” or “long-term material”. Now before you automatically enter skepticism (which I was guilty of when I first heard about this study) it is important to note that researchers believe this may be entirely subconscious for a man.

Researchers studied hundreds of men by showing them faces of women and asking which ones would be chosen for long-term relationships and which would be chosen for flings. Apparently facial features which are considered feminine (such a small chins and full cheeks) were often chosen as fling traits while features considered more masculine (stronger jaws and square faces) were chosen for long-term relationships. The theory is that subconsciously men find feminine features more attractive, but this attractiveness means that she is more likely to enter an affair.

Of course, there seems to be a number of opportunities where this study may have gone astray. Was race taken into consideration? Do full cheeks simply remind men of more youthful girls and they equate youth to flings as oppose to long-term relationships? What about the fact that it seems quite insulting that the woman’s likelihood of cheating is dependent on how attractive she is?

Tell us what you think and comment below!

Image source

Spring 2013 | The Market | The Awful Truth: I Screen, You Screen

DEPT The Market
Issue Spring 2013
Author Paul Nakayama

In an age where “check her out” means online and not from across the room, columnist Paul Nakayama wonders if internet pre-screening makes for better and more efficient dating.

A lot’s changed in the dating scene in the 10 years I’ve been with Audrey Magazine. I was recently re- minded of how much that is true when my editors asked me if guys also engaged in Internet stalking, particularly prior to going on a date. I remember this little website called Asian Avenue where all of a sudden there was this tremendous pool of girls you could potentially date. I say “potentially” because there’s also this little thing called probability and the chances are that more girls just mean more “no’s.” But back then, if you put a person’s name in a search field, you didn’t get much. Whatever a girl wanted you to know, she herself had to plant. It was a tenuous representation at best and a case of Catfish usually. I mean, if you wanted to see some photos, you usually had to sift through fuzzy misrepresentations that had a lot of shadows or a conspicuous amount of floor plants covering her face. Or maybe it was just me, and I just happened to get IM’ed by girls that admired the style of Bigfoot photos. These days, it’s a wholly different battlefield.

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Fall 2012 | The Market: Dynamic Duo

DEPT The Market
ISSUE Fall 2012
AUTHOR Paul Nakayama

HED: THE DYNAMIC DUO

He’s one way when he’s sober, completely different when he’s drunk. Columnist Paul Nakayama uncovers the truth behind your masked man.

I just returned from Comic Con with a pile of Batman books, and it’s a few days before The Dark Knight Rises premieres. I’m almost fanatically on the Batman bandwagon this week, and if I could look good in black leather and spandex, I would be running around dressed in it. Now, this is probably not a good way to portray myself considering I’m the magazine’s resident dating columnist, but I’m more of an “unintentional-abstinence-sucks-so-don’t-do-what-I-do” sort of advisor anyway. So, in sheer geek revelry, I’m going to use Batman as my device for talking through this month’s Awful Truth topic: “dual identities,” or why men are flirtier when drunk.

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Five Ways To Deal With Heartbreak (Inspired by Seo In Guk’s “With Laughter or With Tears”)

If you’re in need of a good cry then you may want to check out Seo In Guk’s “With Laughter or With Tears” Music Video. The song makes us feel that all too familiar pain that comes with heartbreak and the loneliness of losing the one you love.

 

After  indulging in such a sad song, we decided that we wanted to show our readers a more  positive way of thinking. So wipe those tears away and continue reading for Audrey’s Five Ways To Deal With Heartbreak:

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Audrey Do’s and Don’ts | The Second Date

Wong Fu Productions Short “Best Date EVER

On our last Audrey Do’s and Don’ts, we gave you some tips to get ready for a date. Today, we’re gonna take it one step further and talk about the Do’s and Don’ts of the second date.

Many believe that the second date is actually more important than the first. With a first date, there’s a fifty-fifty chance that the date could be good or bad. If it’s bad, you never have to see your date again (at least not in a romantic way). The second date? Completely different story. The first impression is done and apparently it went well. The pressure of that is now replaced with the pressure of testing the waters.

You like each other. You both want more. And you both know it.

So what now? What do you wear? How physical do you get? Continue reading for Audrey’s Dos and Don’t of the second date!

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Ask Audrey Staff | First Date Gone Wrong

The awkward silences. The nervous need to find something to talk about. The need to impress.

Ah yes, the familiar feelings of a first date.  If you’re one of the lucky ones, first dates are  exciting experiences leaving you wanting more. And for the not-so-lucky ones? A palm to the face. Here at Audrey we’ve had our number of uncomfortable first dates and (just because we love our readers)  we’re he’re to share them! Click on to see Audrey Staff spill our FIRST DATE GONE WRONG stories:

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Audrey Living | The Awful Truth: What a Guy Wants

Columnist Paul Nakayama is determined to get to the bottom of what his male friends really want in a woman. What he discovered? Ask a woman.

ISSUE: Summer 2012

DEPT: Audrey Living

STORY: Paul Nakayama

To be perfectly honest, I’ve been dreading writing this issue’s Awful Truth for weeks now. Seeing as I’m currently stuck in my hotel room in Jodhpur, India, awaiting the passing of a brutal dust storm, I guess it’s nature’s way of telling me to get off my ass. I just wish my to-do reminders didn’t consist of strong winds scooping up cow dung from the streets and whipping them around town. I prefer the carrot to a stick made of hepati- tis. At any rate, the topic for this issue is what men really want, so here’s what I did: I asked my single friends what they look for, and I asked my married friends what they love about their wives. If this works, the answer hopefully lies somewhere be- tween a booty call and a divorce.

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