ISN’T IT BROMANTIC? : What is up with all these guy crushes and man-love?
Audrey’s resident bro expert tells all.

ISSUE: Spring 2012

DEPT: The Awful Truth

STORY: Paul Nakayama

I recently returned from a trip to Vancouver where my writing partner and I celebrated New Year’s Eve. To quote our generation, it was epic. Now, judging from the photo (opposite page), you might assume that we went there as lovers, or perhaps even newlyweds. But, no, dear readers, it is, in fact, a “bromance” of the highest caliber. For those of you who’ve never heard of a bromance, it’s defined as a very close, or homosocial, friendship between two straight men. You’ve all seen examples of a bromance through television shows like Scrubs and Friends or movies like I Love You, Man. There are even real world examples like Ben Affleck and Matt Damon or George Clooney and Brad Pitt. It’s a strong bond formed from common interests and long periods of time spent together. Hearing this, my editor was unsatisfied, or rather, still suspicious, and she demanded a better explanation. I took a look at the photo again, and I thought maybe it is in my best interest to provide a few insights
into this new definition of brotherhood.

The concept of guy-love is lost on those who have never experienced it (so, men from older generations or women). It’s not weird or strange anymore to see men display their affections for their buds physically. I’ve seen grown, bearded men shove aside a fist bump request and instead firmly place their chest against another man’s chest. It’s strange and perhaps unnerving to them to see men platonically bond while throwing in the occasional hugs, butt-slaps and friendly wrestling. Whatever happened to the good ol’ days of stoic machismo, they wonder? Well, these days it’s cooler to be cool with man-love.

I remember one time in high school I spent the night at my best friend’s house once. His dad, an old fashioned type, raised an eyebrow when we went into the hot tub to relax. When it was time to turn in, his dad seemed nervous about something, as if the fate of his son’s future rested on the events of this particular evening. He kept hanging around the room, which was a drag because we wanted to close the door and talk about girls. Finally, after long periods of pacing and internal debating, he looked at us and pointed at the bed. He stuttered, “You know, I don’t think the bed is big enough to hold both of you.”

What do you do when your dad, like many others, mistakes guy-love for gay love? It’s not like we were planning to share the bed, but we did what anyone would do when faced with an awkward opportunity to teach someone about tolerance. We went with it and antagonized the poor man. Arms around each other and a big grin on our faces, we said, “We’ll make it work.”

I thought some more on why bromances are so common these days. When did it all start? I wondered if it was somehow a natural progression from the emergence of the metrosexual man. I thought that the heavy use of high-end conditioner and facial moisturizer made our hearts as soft as our hair and skin. In all seriousness, though, single men these days are simply less concerned with the notion of being identified as gay than their fathers and grandfathers. If anything, I’ve seen bromances take pride in their ability to ride the razor’s edge of platonic and sexual. Take me, for instance. Whenever I get drunk, I tend to lift my brothers into the air a la Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing. I’m not trying to cop a feel (usually); there’s just no better way to show a brother you love him than by doing a ballet lift together.

Bromances aren’t just an American thing. I’ve witnessed and experienced it on many of my travels, like Anthony Bourdain, but instead of food, I sampled male bonding. In Brazil, I befriended a group of the tallest, largest men I’ve ever met, and when I had trouble wading through the packed crowds, one of them actually lifted me up above the people and placed me in front of the bathroom. I said to him, “Obrigado, my gentle giant. Obrigado.” (True story.) In Hong Kong, I spent several nights drinking with guys that simply liked me because I could hold my liquor. Imagine that — bonding with strangers over such a superficial reason, and yet we were inseparable for days. In Singapore, I saw a club full of guys perform a synchronized interpretative dance to Madonna’s “Like a Prayer.” Actually, wait, that might’ve been a gay club; it was kind of confusing. Finally, in Korea, I saw men holding hands and kissing each other’s faces. Well, I wasn’t ready for the master class bromance, but you know, I just wanted to give you another example.

While most women comment that it’s “cute” to see men bond so closely, I’ve also had plenty of girls poke fun (with a hint of “what-the-eff” in their voices) at my bromances. When that happens, my buddies and I shrug it off because we know that it’s just jealousy. Now before I get angry letters from you (which I wouldn’t mind actually since it’s at least some evidence that someone is reading this), I’ll explain the source of the jealousy. It’s not uncommon for men these days to be more emotionally available to their man-mates than their actual girlfriends. There’s less emotional risk and you still get the satisfaction of catharsis. There’s no regard for what comes in the future; there’s only the enjoyment of the now. In other words, men can enjoy the intimacy of a long-lasting relationship without the dreaded “so-where-are-we-headed” talk. You combine that level of hassle-free friendship with man-dates that involve common interests in video games, sports, music and entertainment, and it’s not ironic that even the most commitment phobic guys have at some point in their lives said to another guy: “Dude, if you were a girl, I’d marry you.”

Now, with the context I’ve given, does the above photo of me leaping into another man’s arms make more sense? Still weird, you say? Yes, there was alcohol involved at the time this was taken, but that’s not an excuse. There’s no need to make excuses for something as beautiful as the friendship of two men. If anything, I will fight like a Black Friday shopper to defend my right to be cradled in the arms of my best friends. It’s a great thing that the taboos of the past are being cast off to create a world where men are OK with showing feelings, affection and love. Why not have a world where men can accept and hug instead of front and fight? I think it’s awesome. Well, except for those really aggressive huggers that linger. That’s just awkward.

More stories from Audrey’s spring issue here.

ISSUE: Spring 2012

DEPT: Personalities

STORY: Janice Jann

The next big name in post-apocalyptic teenage angst coming to a bookstore (and a big screen) near you? Look no further than Marie Lu.

Yes, Marie Lu’s debut novel Legend is set in a bleak, distant future where, yes, there are warring factions and, yes, precocious teenagers must face obstacles where lives are at stake, but don’t think Lu is just another writer jumping on the Hunger Games bandwagon.

The 27-year-old Chinese American author was actually in the middle of shopping around another book — a novel centered on Mozart’s sister —when she decided to write Legend, a post-apocalyptic, Les Miserables-inspired saga. Though Lu never intended to write a young adult novel, she says, “ever since I was in high school, my protagonists have always been teens. It’s a very interesting time in life where you have more responsibilities, and mixing it up with hormones makes for fun ways to explore characters.”

The book’s film rights were scooped up within weeks and Legend has been receiving rave reviews for its well-blended combination of substance and suspense. Lu is grateful for all the positive response. “[The feedback] has been really good,” she says. “I love hearing most from teens. They’re so direct with their answers. ‘I like this character, and I don’t like that one.’”

Lu may seem young to already have found such literary success, but the payoff resulted from years of hard work. Since the age of 14, Lu would begin writing around 4:30 each morning. She wrote during her undergrad years at USC, wrote throughout her stint as a video game art director, and continues to keep her early-bird writing patterns even though now she can actually afford to spend all day behind her desk. “I got into a rhythm,” says Lu. “Now I can’t write past noon.”

Lu is currently working on the second and third book of the Legend series while juggling a writer’s tour, but she’s handling the pressure in stride. She considers her success icing on top of analready scrumptious cake. “This is something I would have done regardless if I got anywhere with it or not,” she says, “so I just think of that when I write.”

–Janice Jann

ISSUE: Spring 2012

DEPT: Personalities

STORY: Courtney Hong

Get ready, America. Japanese superstar Jin Akanishi is set to take over with his U.S. debut album, Japonicana.

Singer, songwriter, producer and actor Jin Akanishi is remarkably focused. The 27-year-old groundbreaking artist has been working hard (often with no time to eat) on his highly anticipated U.S. debut album, Japonica (a reference to the great influence that Japan, the U.S. and Spain have had on the singer), which drops March 6. Akanishi describes the album as one that “has no boundaries … a collection of music and sounds that I love,” including club, dance and pop. It’s a project that “really allows me to be creative and true to myself.”

Akanishi, who grew up in Japan, is used to crossing boundaries. He was the lead vocalist for the Japanese boy band KAT-TUN, which had multiple number one hits on the Japanese national charts and became the first group to ever perform 10 consecutive days at one of Japan’s most notable venues. But Akanishi stepped into unknown territory when he left KAT- TUN to pursue a solo career, without a record company’s support, in order to fully utilize his creativity.

So far, Akanishi’s risk-taking has paid off, with the release of his number one iTunes single, “Test Drive” featuring Jason Derulo, and a deal with Warner Music Group. After a number of solo shows in Japan, he toured the U.S. in 2010, performing at sold-out, 2,000-plus seat venues. “It was an amazing experience,” says Akanishi. “It was the first time I did anything like that in the U.S.”

Akanishi returns to the U.S. with a five-city tour starting March 9, and will be making his big screen debut as a wandering samurai alongside Keanu Reeves in the period film, 47 Ronin, opening on February 8, 2013. Though he’s newly married, expect to see a lot more of the superstar. “L.A. has become a home away from home,” he says. Lucky us!

–Courtney Hong

Summer issue will be available first week of June – and here’s a sneak peek at our cover! The upcoming issue will be packed with plenty of features and goodies – so grab it while it’s hot!

Yes – we’re giving away a number of tickets to our lucky readers to Jay Park’s concert on Sunday, May 27th at Club Nokia in Los Angeles!

Here are some ways to enter:

1. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter! Share this contest on your FB wall and Twitter (and tag us!).

2. Leave a comment on this post with your Twitter handle (we’ll contact you there if you win!). This will count as your entry!

For more info about the concert, please visit the Verizon APAHM Tour 2012 site here.

The cast of a special Asian Pacific American production of 'The Vagina Monologues'---performed on May 17th in San Francisco---acknowledged a few individuals at curtain call, including family members, NAPAWF Bay Area, and others who made the production possible. (photo credits: Karen Datangel)

On the topic of sexuality, voices are silenced. Speaking out about sexual desires is considered improper for women and much more alarmingly, speaking out against violence towards women—as survivors of it or as supporters of survivors—is difficult, for the pain and suffering is all too much to relive the ordeals. However, through theater, these stories of women exploring their sexuality and surviving sexual assault, war, and domestic violence can be told boldly and with absolutely nothing held back. Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues goes deep into the varied experiences of the female organ, and performers and activists from the Asian Pacific American community went all out in their recent opportunity to honor the strength and courage of women everywhere, even in the face of adversity.

In honor of Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, the National Asian Pacific American Women’s Forum (NAPAWF) and V-Day San Francisco co-presented a landmark production of The Vagina Monologues on May 17th at San Francisco’s historic Castro Theater. Under the direction of Gabrielle Patacsil, the all-Asian Pacific American cast of women from different walks of life came together to perform in this very special presentation, the first by the only national, multi-issue Asian and Pacific Islander women’s organization in the country. Proceeds benefited the Bay Area chapter of NAPAWF and V-Day.

For many of the APA women performers, including Connie Chung, who works at the Asian Women’s Shelter in San Francisco, participating in the production was a valuable chance to address taboo issues amongst the community.

“In media and arts and entertainment, Asian-Americans have such a small presence because of the different barriers that don’t allow them to take front stage,” said Chung. “To have a discussion about sexuality and empowerment is so important, so to bring those two together is such a rare opportunity.”

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As I was walking up the stairs to the Dumpling Wars event, the scent of fresh dumplings and savory Asian cuisine had surrounded me and my mouth started watering. With a huge appetite and grumbling tummies, my photographer Erilou and I were ready to chow down on all the fresh dumplings. Held at the Oakland Asian Cultural Center, Kearny Street Workshop presented one their first-ever dumpling contest, Dumpling Wars. Six teams of amateur chefs came together to compete at creating the best dumpling.  With well renowned chefs as judges, there was no doubt that these contestants had to bring it on. For this event, there were two winners. Not only do the judges place their vote, but the dumpling enthusiasts AKA the entire audience got to place their vote on their favorite dumpling. Read more on Audrey’s coverage at Dumpling Wars.

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This week’s Happenings 5.19-20

The weather is getting warm and we’re starting to get ready for those restless summer evenings.  Luckily for Audrey readers, there are blooming possibilities for the movie-goers, dance buffs, and hungry tasters in all of us.  Check out what is happening now and around the web this week.

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Our latest Audrey Style Gal comes by way of San Francisco: Suzie Hung of Style Que by Suzie Q!

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Daughter solicits mother for advice. Hilarity ensues. Courtesy of Lela Lee.

To help celebrate Asian Pacific American Heritage Month — and an upcoming holiday dedicated to Mothers all around, Audrey Magazine brings you our special Mother’s Day feature: Funniest Advice My Mother Has Ever Given Me. Contributor Ada Tseng talks to different folks in the Asian American community about the words of wisdom bestowed to them from their Asian American mothers. Join us as we count down to Mother’s Day – we’ll be revealing new stories every day!

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