DATING FOR DUMMIES
In honor of the New Year, Paul Nakayama and guest columnist Anastasia Kim swear off mental diarrhea, resolve to get over themselves, and break other bad dating habits.

ISSUE: Winter 2010

Dating for Dummies

PAUL SAYS:
Last year, I vowed to lose 10 pounds. The following week, I went to an all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ, making the restaurant regret their business model and upgrading my resolution to 15 pounds. The year before that I lasted about two days before I caved and bought a stack of Blu-rays (and only because the stores were closed on New Year’s).

My previous New Year’s resolutions haven’t gone so well, but that hasn’t stopped me. For 2011, I realized there’s no changing my gluttony or my geeky addictions. Instead, I’ll focus on something new: my weakest, most deficient skill set — ironically, that’d be dating.

I’m 36 and unmarried. Normally, I would emphatically de- fend myself by declaring that it’s by choice. It’s easier to say that I enjoy having the time to write or play video games or re-enact scenes from Lost in my underwear. But I’m more likely single because I sabotaged myself at every turn. It’s not realistic to make huge sweeping changes all at once, so I’ll start with a few simples ones to adopt.

I discovered my joy of writing more than 10 years ago by blogging on AsianAvenue.com and later Livejournal. I didn’t think anyone was reading my stuff so my life sort of became an open book. When social media became mainstream, it was an easy transition to embrace. I was already doing it. Everything I do is transparent: the places I go, what I eat, or what I’m doing. It’s an unfortunate habit. I need to stop publishing every drunken thought, every goofy photo and every lame attempt at humor. So, for Resolution #1, I will filter myself better and curb the mental diarrhea. Yes, it’ll mean fewer comments and “likes” on my Facebook wall, but girls don’t really need or want to know when I’m battling the toilet bowl Hydra.

This sounds dumb, but talking has never been my forte, unless it’s about video games. But we’re talking about dating here, not chilling with my nephews. I overcompensate and say stupid things to alleviate the pressure of awkward silences. I found that I had better luck “talking” to a girl over an instant messenger. I had time to come up with something marginally witty, and I didn’t pollute the conversation with filler talk about “Street Fighter.” This eventually evolved into sending text messages rather than calling. I mean, there is no awkward silence with text messages, and I love that. But what happens when the girl actually agrees to go out? “Hey, take off your bra, sexy,” I’d sext her. And she’d turn to me and say, “I’m right here, freak.” Resolution #2 is to communicate the old-fashioned way.

Despite all my fumbling, I do manage to go out on dates. Ah, but that’s when I do the real damage, where I’m either a Michael Bay movie of ridiculous disasters or an indie flick where nothing ever happens. Why do I drink too much on dates or inevitably end up in the “friend zone?” Because … I never say what I want. I’m too chicken sh-t to say, “I like you. I think it would be awesome to watch movies together and see each other naked on a regular basis.” Resolution #3 is to say what I want and mean. The worst outcome is getting turned down, to which I’ll just say, “Alrighty then.” Best outcome is regular nudity in real 3-D. That’s what you’d call a good bet.

I realize that my resolutions may not help you. After all, they’re designed around my issues. If you’re lazy, use mine any- way. If you think of your own, great! If you fail, well, I’ll meet you at the Korean BBQ.

ANASTASIA SAYS:
I’ve dated all kinds of men: the insecure doormat, the unattainable rebel, the chauvinistic meathead, and even the possessive psycho. For years, I wondered why I couldn’t just snag a normal, great guy. But after the tail end of a series of unfortunate dates whipped me across the face, I realized I had been going about it all wrong. I decided then that I’d make a few dating resolutions for myself to get out of this dating slump, instead of waiting for Mr. Right to somehow magically find me.

As a college student, I plunged into the dating pool, head- first, believing feigned confidence and bravura would surely land me a good man. Once, on a date with Mr. R., I talked about myself so much, I forgot for a second he was even there. Midway through the “so this psycho fell in love with me” story, I realized how self-absorbed and entitled I sounded. At some point, I had to tell myself, “Get over yourself. Seriously.” Talking about how many men wanted me didn’t make me seem any more appealing, and complaining about crazy exes made me look like a psycho-magnet. Stories told for the sake of receiving validation should stay between girlfriends; sharing too much with our date only shows how little we have to lose if things don’t pan out. Let’s date each individual as if that person is our last chance at romance because in the end, isn’t that what most of us are searching for?

When I first started dating Mr. H., I thought he was a sweet, funny guy. After the honeymoon blinders came off, though, I realized he was a jobless, unmotivated slob. Less than a year into our relationship, we were fighting over his “Counter- strike” addiction and his penchant for sitting around in his dirty underwear all the livelong day. Ladies, ever meet a guy who’s great in so many ways, but you can’t help but think, “if only he …”? If only he were more ambitious, fit or understanding? How many of us decide to date these men anyway, hoping that with time, and a little “guidance,” they’ll become the men of our dreams? Sadly, people don’t change very often, and I ended up feeling hopeless. Soon after we broke up, I told myself I should date a person’s now, not their potential. Let’s spare our partners (and ourselves) the disappointment, and avoid getting into a re- lationship with someone who isn’t their potential now.

I’ve always been a rigid list-keeper; as such, I often missed out on meeting potentially wonderful men because in one way or another, they didn’t fit my ideal “type.” But after dating men who seemed like my type, and seeing those relationships fail, I learned to break the “type” in stereotype. Take it from me. A doctor from Harvard won’t always know how to mend a broken heart, and old money won’t always solve new problems. A guy with a Porsche may not always rev up our engine, and an Abercrombie model who does his body good may not necessarily do ours any good. Dating isn’t so much about matching outer desires, but more about fulfilling our inner needs. Let’s meet that need first, and then think about all of the extras. Like chiseled abs.

The best way to achieve dating success is to meet love halfway and modify our expectations. Here’s hoping that in the New Year, we won’t need to make any more dating resolutions!

More stories from Audrey Magazine’s Archives here.

“Filming in America feels like you’re taking a vacation.” -Jay Chou

ISSUE: Winter 2010

DEPT: Personalities

STORY: Janice Jann

National Hero

Before Rain and Wang Lee Hom, there was Jay Chou, the original Asian pop heartthrob. Since 2000, when the Taiwanese native came out with his debut album, Jay, the now-31-year-old has sold more than 28 million albums worldwide and racked up more than 350 singer, singer-songwriter, and producer awards in Asia. He’s bringing that star appeal to the silver screen this January in the remake of The Green Hornet, starring alongside Seth Rogen and Cameron Diaz. Marking his debut to the American market, Chou plays the title character’s partner, Kato, a
role originated by none other than Bruce Lee.

Continue Reading »

The Spring ’11 cover has arrived! Funny gal Olivia Munn is rocking the Shirley Temple curls. Inside, Munn dishes on Chinese mothers (she has one!), dating celebs and her loyal fans.

Not tootin’ our own horn or anything but the Spring issue is pretty solid.  And it’s about everyone’s favorite subject: television!

We have an in-depth report on teen television diversity and its influence on our teens, including a round table with actresses Jolene Purdy, Nikki Soohoo and Ashley Argota and profiles of TV stars Randall Park, Anisha Nagaarajan, broadway baby T.V. Carpio and the indie darling The Go! Team (amongst others).

Also in the issue:

• Columnists Anastasia Kim and Paul Nakayama discuss cock-blocking and wingmans.
• The juicy color orange is all over the runway. Get it from the catwalk to your closet!
• Let’s talk eyebrows.

All this and plenty more! To purchase a copy of the Spring ’11 issue (or get yourself a whole year’s subscription while you’re at it), check out our shop here. It will be out in news stands and your mailbox early March!

Itching to read some of our old issues? Now you can at our Archives page.

What are your thoughts on the new cover?

One woman’s fight for health care reform takes a very personal turn.

ISSUE: Spring 2010

DEPT: My Story

STORY: Veronica De La Cruz

Veronica De La Cruz, right, with her brother Eric.

On July 4, 2009, I lost my brother and only sibling Eric Alexander De La Cruz. He passed away while awaiting a heart transplant. Five years ago, he was diagnosed with severe dilated cardiomyopathy, a weakening of the heart that prevents it from pumping normally. Since then, we had tried to get Eric insurance coverage that would allow him to get the treatment he needed, but no private insurer would offer him insurance because of this preexisting condition.

My brother and I grew up in Northern California and, though we were a couple years apart, we were always very close. As kids, we spent all our time on the ice at the local rink. Eric played hockey, while I trained as a figure skater.

As adults, we remained best friends, talking and joking on the phone or over email. We loved trading music and would always keep each other up to date on what was happening in the world of hockey or figure skating. Eric loved the Anaheim Ducks, and it would crush him if they didn’t win. He was a talented artist, music producer and designer. His love was a constant reminder that there was more to life than work.

When Eric’s heart condition was diagnosed, our lives changed forever. In May 2009, his kidneys began to fail and doctors told me only a heart transplant would save his life. Since he was young and otherwise healthy, I thought our chances were excellent. But Eric did not have the luxury of insurance coverage provided through his employer, a small Web design firm that only employed seven people. His only insurer, state Medicaid, wouldn’t cover the out-of-state operation Eric needed. And he was denied federal Medicare — twice.

Eventually, when we finally did get federal coverage for Eric, the hospital still demanded private supplemental insurance to help cover the huge expenses. And the rub? Insurance companies won’t sell supplemental insurance policies to those with pre-existing conditions, so we were right back to square one. We were told we might still have to come up with nearly a million dollars.

Medical bills have bankrupted our family. My mother even shared her own heart medication with Eric when he couldn’t afford it. With Eric’s health deteriorating, and feeling desperate, I began relying on the kindness of strangers.

In May, I started talking about Eric on Twitter. To my amazement, complete strangers started to come together in support. Within a week, hundreds of donors had raised $6,000 and Eric’s cause was being promoted by celebrities like Demi Moore, Alyssa Milano and P. Diddy. Those willing to champion Eric’s fight for his life soon numbered in the thousands. Popular bands Nine Inch Nails and Jane’s Addiction, as well as professional skateboarder Tony Hawk, helped put fundraising into overdrive. Altogether, Eric’s Twitter Army raised nearly $1 million in a matter of weeks.

In June, Eric was moved to a California hospital, where he was put at the top of the heart transplant list. It was a happy time for us and we were busy planning for the future. We were looking forward to doing normal things together, like walking his dog Chance and finally getting on the ice again. And every day, I took time to assure him that everything was going to be OK.

But sadly enough, doctors informed me the fight would be hard. In fact, they pulled me aside to say, “You guys got here two years too late.” They explained that Eric’s battle for a heart should have started two years earlier — back when we were trying to secure insurance coverage and one by one each insurance company was saying no. The day my brother passed away I promised him I would do two things: take care of Mom and his dog, and try my hardest to change the health care system. I sat by his bedside crying, promising that I would do everything within my own power to make sure that no one suffered again needlessly, the way he did.

Still deeply mourning my brother, I’ve been trying to fulfill those promises. I’ve made multiple trips to Washington, D.C. to lobby Congress for health care reform, arguing that coverage must be available to all, even to those with preexisting conditions, and that insurance companies must be prohibited from dropping sick patients. I’ve spoken at rallies across the country, sharing Eric’s story, illustrating the urgent need for change. I’ve been working with young patients who have found themselves in similar positions as Eric’s, the latest being a man in his 30s whose insurance provider, AETNA, has refused to cover the cost of his transplant. I only hope the work that I do will one day put an end to the unconscionable practices seen from insurance companies like AETNA, among others.

My brother’s inability to get adequate health insurance has had a devastating impact on my life. It’s broken my mother’s heart and has sent the lives of other friends and family members into a tailspin. Being excluded from the health care system because of a pre-existing condition robbed my only sibling of his fair chance at life, and it robbed all of us of his gifts, talents and love.

Health care reform may come too late for Eric, but I hope it will come in time to help thousands of other families who may otherwise also lose loved ones simply because private insurance companies choose to turn away the sick. Helping to bring about the day when everyone has the right to health insurance will be my brother Eric’s greatest gift, so please, do your part.

Log on to EricsLaw.com and sign the petition. Contact your elected officials and the President and tell them that you support health care reform, which is urgently needed now. Health care is a basic human right, and should no longer be looked at as a privilege.

“I don’t have to work in the summer.”

-Joseph Vincent (when he found out he won a million dollars on The Ellen Show)

ISSUE: Winter 2010

On The Rise

Photo courtesy of Carmen Chan | www.carmen-chan.com

When Joseph Vincent first performed on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, he was nervous. If you watch the Youtube clip of the episode, you can see Vincent stepping onstage, his brown eyes scanning the audience in wide-eyed wonder, as if he can’t believe this is all happening. For a guy who regularly sings in front of more than 90,776 viewers, it may be surprising that he’s not used to that kind of attention. But it’s probably because those audience members are usually watching him on a computer screen.

Vincent may have risen to fame in 2007 when he started posting videos of his acoustic versions of Top 40’s on the video-sharing site, but the crooner prefers live performances. “[When] people see me on Youtube, I sing, boom, it’s done,” he says. “Onstage, they see me talk and say, ‘oh, I didn’t realize you were so funny or quirky.’ I get to be random.”

Vincent won DeGeneres’ heart (and $10,000 from her online talent competition) last summer and has since been signed with Plan C Management. The Filipino American singer is currently working on nailing down his sound. He counts Jason Mraz as a major inspiration. “That guy is just insane live. I hope to be on that level someday,” he says.

The level that Vincent is on is already impressive considering the 21-year-old only started playing the guitar when he was 15 and has never taken a singing or guitar lesson in his life. And it’s not likely that he’ll use his winnings to start either. When he learned that he had won the competition, his first reaction was, “I don’t have to work in the summer.”

Ironically, with a new CD in the works and gigs lined up across the country, it seems like Vincent will be working plenty in the new year. — Janice Jann

More stories from Audrey Magazine’s Archives here.

THE HUNGER WITHIN: Susan Soon He Stanton finds Monique Truong’s sophomore effort, Bitter in the Mouth, something to whet the literary appetite.

ISSUE: Winter 2010-11

DEPT: Plugged In

STORY: Susan Soon He Stanton

Today’s literary market is a veritable smorgasbord of epicurean-themed fiction, and yet Monique Truong’s aptly titled second novel, Bitter in the Mouth (Random House), is a stand-alone dish. Fans of her best-selling first novel, The Book of Salt, depicting the life of a Vietnamese chef working for Gertrude Stein in pre-World War II Paris, will recognize Truong’s lyrical prose and delicately rendered portrait of an outsider.

In Bitter in the Mouth, Truong’s introduces Linda Hammerick of Boiling Springs, N.C. Linda, blessed with a sharp mind and rich sense of humor, is afflicted with synesthesia, a neurologically-based condition in which the stimulation of one sense involuntarily triggers a second. In Linda’s case, she tastes words. Linda’s own name is mint flavored, while her best friend’s name tastes like canned peaches. The word for “selfish” invokes sweet bits of corn on the cob, after the kernels have been eaten. Truong allows readers to experience Linda’s condition by attaching the corresponding flavors to the words Linda hears.

“‘Momchocolatemilk, honest … Wordslicorice, they have a taste.’”

“‘Lindamint. Stopcannedcorn it! … I won’t handleFruitStripegum crazyheavycream. I won’t have it in my familycannedbeets.’”

Woven throughout Linda’s circuitous story are passages about the history of North Carolina — Indian lore, the account of a poet-slave, and even a cameo from the Wright brothers. Through all of the novel’s twists and turns, Linda’s relationship with her family remains at the story’s emotional core. Linda has a difficult relationship with her adoptive mother, DeAnne, whose preoccupation with a teenaged boy puts her daughter in peril. Iris, Linda’s grandmother, has volunteered for the position of family truth-teller. On her deathbed, Iris proclaims, “What I know about you, little girl, would break you in two.” Only in the final chapters does Linda uncover the true meaning of her grandmother’s portentous final words. Truong sets up a series of mysteries with a delayed payoff. Although Linda is an immediately fascinating protagonist, some of the intentionally withheld information creates a curious feeling of alienation during some of the earlier chapters.

One of the delights of the novel is Linda’s epistolary friendship with her best friend Kelly. From their secret idolatry of Dolly Parton to their various teenaged crushes, Truong’s unflinching lens captures the highs and lows of the lifelong relation- ship between the two women. Another highlight is Linda’s delightfully eccentric uncle, Baby Harper, who moonlights as a funeral photographer and teaches her how to dance. Baby Harper writes, “If you are lucky, you are born not once but many times.”

Truong’s artful narration takes us through Linda’s many lives in the South in the 1970s and 80s, from her childhood in rural North Carolina, to Yale College, to her adulthood in Manhattan. Linda attempts to dull the effects of her synesthesia with cigarettes and alcohol, and separates herself from her family with time and distance. However, a family tragedy sends her back to Boiling Springs, a place full of unsavory memories. The link between family and death, words and tastes, tragedy and enduring love, is explored in this surprising and unique novel. Although at times the prose is complex, the novel is a stunning, brave work of fiction that should not be missed.

– Susan Soon He Stanton

More stories from Audrey Magazine’s Archives here.

For Master Sake Sommelier Yuji Matsumoto — the first in the U.S. — sake is more than just sushi’s sidekick. Appreciating Japan’s native drink is all about “designing taste.”

ISSUE: Winter 2010-11

DEPT: Entertaining

STORY: Anna M. Park

Master Sake Sommelier Yuji Matsumoto pours the Oyama sake into a white wine glass. Holding the base and stem, he swirls, then sniffs. Fruity. Tart. Perhaps a hint of pear? It’s a familiar scene at any wine tasting, but for sake? Indeed, says Matsumoto, one of only 60 certified master sake sommeliers in the world. In sake, it’s all about taste, he adds, as opposed to varietals or regions.

In fact, Matsumoto gives seminars on “designing taste,” informing the industry on brewing standards, mill percentages and aging. He’s a man who takes his work seriously, so you have to give Kabuki restaurants real cred that it’s got the U.S.’s first (and until recently, only) master sake sommelier on board. Matsumoto oversees all of the 14 Kabuki restaurants’ extensive sake and cocktail menu, making sure to complement Corporate Executive Chef Masa Kurihara’s newly unveiled menu of both traditional and innovative Japanese cuisine. Started in 1991 when owner David Lee opened the first Kabuki in Pasadena, Calif., today the 14 Kabukis in the western U.S. include restaurants in Las Vegas and their newest location in Brea, Calif.

Details Kabukirestaurants.com

Master Sake Sommelier Yuji Matsumoto’s Plum Orange Tokyo Mojito

Ingredients:
7-8 mint leaves
2 oz Jinro Soju 2.5 Takara Plum Wine
1 oz bar syrup
Dash of Yuzu juice (a Japanese citrus)
2 orange wheels

Muddle and mix the first five ingredients. Top off with club soda and garnish with orange wheels.

To escape the harried pace of everyday life, travelers these days aren’t merely looking for a vacation; they’re looking for rejuvenation. Indeed, wellness tourism is on the rise, and with India’s wealth of Ayurveda and yoga retreats, it’s become the go-to destination for those who need to breathe, rebalance and slow the pace way down.
Writer Mira Advani Honeycutt takes us into India’s wellspring of wellness.

ISSUE: Winter 2010

DEPT: Features

STORY: MIra Advani Honeycutt

The three-and-a-half hour drive from Goa airport in southern India was as picturesque — with glimpses of coconut trees, rice paddies and old Portuguese churches — as it was tedious, with our driver navigating the two-lane highway, dodging cows and trucks. But once we arrived at SwaSwara, an Ayurveda retreat on the shores of the Arabian Sea, I was in paradise. I would be spending five days in a rejuvenation program focusing on Ayurvedic massages, meditation and yoga. Little did I know then that in a few days, I would be gazing at a saffron-hued moon during a meditative full moon celebration, my adventurous drive a distant memory.

Just as yoga is more than a trendy form of exercise, combining postures, breathing techniques and meditation aimed at bringing a harmonious union between body, mind and soul, Ayurveda is more than just a massage option cropping up on spa menus across the U.S. Established in 1500 B.C., the centuries old Indian tradition of wellness is derived from the Sanskrit words ayu (life) and veda (learning). It’s a philosophy that believes in harmony between man and nature, where good health is not only defined on a physical level, but also on a spiritual, emotional and environmental level.

As Ayurvedic lifestyles gain popularity in the U.S., so does wellness tourism. From splashy Club Med-like vacations to spartan mountain retreats, wellness retreats are sprouting up throughout the world. And nowhere is wellness tourism more popular than in India, the origin of the Ayurvedic philosophy. According to P. Rangarajan, assistant director of the India Tourism Office in New York, 800,000 tourists visited India in 2009. Though he did not have specific figures as to how many of those were on wellness or yoga tours, tourism agencies in India are jumping on the wellness bandwagon and adding this component to their travel itineraries. One prime example is the Jaipur, India-based Pioneers Journeys Pvt. Ltd., which created Travel Spiritual India in 2009. The company offers travel pack- ages ranging from a low-cost $400 to a customized $4,000 Ayurveda spa vacation.

Aditi Sharma, director of strategic business units at Travel Spiritual India, says she’s noticed an increase in wellness travel — a whopping 250 percent increase, in fact, since 2002. In fact, India’s wellness service market is estimated at US$2.2 billion, expecting a growth of 30 to 35 percent annually. In 2009, travel and tourism accounted for 6.4 percent of India’s total employment, or one in every 15.6 jobs. By 2019, it is expected to generate more than 40 million jobs, or 7.2 percent of total employment, according to Travel Spiritual India’s statistics. That makes the travel and tourism industry in India the second largest employer in the world by 2019.

While northern India is popular for yoga tourism (the Himalayan town of Rishikesh is dubbed “the world capital of yoga,” and the Iyengar Yoga Institute is a couple hours from Mumbai), for Ayurveda-oriented travel, visitors head to Kerala, a southern state lush with swaying palms, calm backwaters, blue lagoons and scenic hillside tea plantations. In addition, Kerala-style Ayurvedic centers can also be found on the out- skirts of Goa and in Bangalore.

Like the diversity of travelers who come to India — Sharma says 25 countries are represented among her clientele — the Ayurvedic offerings are just as diverse. From spartan spiritual retreats to luxurious Western style spas, India’s well- ness spas have something to cater to every traveler. Located on the outskirts of Bangalore, the Ayurvedagram Heritage Wellness Centre’s compound is lush with not only swaying palms but also more than 100 herbal plants used for treatments. The center’s Dr. Jayarajan takes guests on walking tours through the garden, describing the healing qualities of the various plants.

Though the center’s Kerala-style cottages are anchored by the 165-year-old Aranmula Palace-turned-visitors’ lobby, Ayurvedagram is a no-nonsense retreat. It is strictly vegetarian and no alcohol or snacking is allowed. Simplicity is the mantra here. You won’t find plush towels or scented candles in the spartan massage rooms. Rather, 7 a.m. yoga classes with Yoga Master Subhash Mohanty are followed by massage treatments and meditation classes. The spa draws 300 to 400 foreign visitors annually, as well as many locals, for their highly effective massage and body treatments. Although some guests come for rejuvenation and Panchakrama (the five-day detox treatment), most of them are here for ailments ranging from hypertension and diabetes to arthritis and sinusitis.

On the other side of the spectrum is the Ananda Spa, which offers authentic Ayurvedic treatments in a luxurious Western-style spa ambiance. Nestled in the foothills of the Himalayas, the 24,000 square foot spa is built as a romantic getaway, a wedding venue and an executive retreat. Gourmet meals of non-vegetarian fare with fine wines are served in multiple dining venues ranging from casual treetop to poolside to an elegant restaurant and tearoom. Besides yoga sessions, there are classes in ancient Vedanta philosophy and recreational activities range from billiards to chess.

Then there is SwaSwara, which means “my own rhythm.” Indeed, the rhythm here is a pleasant middle ground between spartan and luxe. The hillside retreat sits high above Om Beach, on the shores of the Arabian Sea. The 26-acre property, a lush compound of two dozen spacious villas, two yoga centers, rice paddies, and an herb and vegetable garden, is located south of Goa, in the small seaside town of Gokarna, revered for its Shiva temple. The eco-friendly resort, which focuses on yoga and Ayurvedic massage therapy treatments, recycles everything. Shower water is reused in garden sprinklers, food scraps form the compost, cow dung is used for gas cooking and newspapers transform into tote bags. A lake on the property harvests rainwater.

My five-day rejuvenation stay began with a consultation with Dr. Shobha, SwaSwara’s medical practitioner. A four-page questionnaire helped her determine my dosha, one of three energies or body types. These body types are a combination of the basic cosmic elements: Vata constitutes air and space (this body type is light and flexible), Pitta is made up of fire and water (a medium body frame), and Kapha is water and earth (this body type is heavy, muscular). Ayurveda aims to balance these three subtle energies in order to achieve optimum health. Once an Ayurvedic doctor determines one’s dosha, she then prescribes a diet and treatment plan to rebalance the energies.

Dr. Shobha found that I was a combination Kapha Pitta, so she gave me a list of foods to eat and to avoid to balance my digestive system. Contrary to popular belief, Ayurveda practice does allow for non-vegetarian foods and alcohol, according to Dr. Shobha. In addition to herbal drinks, fresh fruit and whole grains, the retreat’s resident chef, Joy Matthews, creates magic with bounty from the sea such as mullet, pomfret and shellfish.

Dr. Shobha also created a regimen that included two daily massage treatments and specific yoga and meditation sessions. According to Ayurvedic principles, ill health is caused by the disturbance of prana, our vital life force that is present in every cell of the body. The physical and emotional stress of daily life upsets the balance of the prana. In addition to diet, herbal tonics and meditation, massage treatments are vital aspects in the restoration of a balanced prana.

There are some 20 different therapeutic massage treat- ments in Ayurveda, each done with medicinal oils and herbal powders. Oil nourishes the tissues, stimulates nerve endings and tones muscles, while therapeutic powders burn excess adipose fat and cleanse the body. These treatments are usually administered in a synchronized manner by two therapists, using a combination of more than 200 preparations made from herbs, most of which are homegrown.

My treatment plan for the next four days included a twice-a-day treatment of three different massages, one of which was the Abhayanga. To experience an Ayurvedic massage is to lapse into an otherworldly zone. A typical Abhayanga body, face and neck massage is administered in a synchronized manner by two therapists. All the massages take place on hard wooden tables — there are no soft towels, pillows or scented candles. The fragrance filling the spartan room wafts in from the adjacent flower garden. In addition to Abhayanga, my massage program included twice daily Patra Panda Sweda, a massage for weight reduction where the body is rubbed with warm boluses filled with medicated herbs, and Chakra Basti, a digestion aid where a medicated ring made of gram flour dough is placed around the navel and filled with warm oil. After four days of nonstop mas- sages, my body felt like a tenderized piece of prized meat.

Between the massages, I participated in meditations and three yoga sessions a day. Meditations were held in SwaSwara’s famous Blue Dome and during quiet moonlit walks in the garden, where we focused on the third eye, the mid-brow point on the forehead believed to be a portal leading to higher consciousness. For special meditations like Trataka meditation, said to aid in eye disorders, one focuses on a fixed object for some time (commonly on a flame), then visualizes that image with eyes closed and projecting it on the third eye.

SwaSwara also prides itself on its yoga, with nine different classes offered daily, including art yoga and laughter yoga. According to Yoga Master Ruchir, laughter yoga may not solve problems, but it helps dissolve problems.

And indeed, time spent at SwaSwara was enough to begin to change one’s perspective. After days of dosha-correcting meals, a regimen of massages interspersed with yoga, and serene walks on the bovine-inhabited Om beach, my prana was rebalanced, my skin felt soft and supple, and any cares I may have brought with me dissolved into the distant horizon.

More stories from Audrey Magazine’s Archives here.

“I prefer to be in the middle of the action and to actually see the ingredients and touch them. Hand-to-mouth, I think, really just turns me on a lot more.” – Kelly Choi

ISSUE: Winter 2010

Hot in the Kitchen

In every kitchen she enters, Kelly Choi turns up the heat. She subjects chefs to the glare of the spotlight on shows like Eat Out NY on NYC TV, scrutinizing them as she sautés over a hot stove. And if she can torment world-class culinary artists as host of Bravo TV’s Top Chef Masters, with challenges like preparing a dish using in- gredients from a gas station store, well, she relishes that, too. “It was a riot,” she says with a laugh. “Seeing the expressions on [the chef’s] faces was priceless.”
Yet the angst Choi put her own par- ents through could be considered far worse, especially by those in their peer group: Korean immigrants. For one, there was going to grad school for — gasp — journalism. But before that, when she was around 8, after she and her family had set- tled in Virginia and her parents began running a grocery store, Choi wanted to make “American” meals for her folks. “I didn’t know anything about cooking American food, but I knew that I wanted to quote-unquote cook. So I would open up all these cans of stuff and then heat up beans and get mashed potato flakes,” says Choi. “My parents were like, ‘Uh-uh, we don’t like this American food. We’re going to eat Korean.’”
Her skill with processed meats (“Lots of pork and beans, lots of Spam — best things ever,” laughs Choi) didn’t exactly compel her parents to encourage a culinary education. However, they would end up helping to prepare Choi, who’s also worked as a model and a VJ for MTV Korea, for her meteoric rise in the world of television just by being at the dinner table. There, she had to preside over one of the most notorious of all critics: a Korean father. “My dad was always [telling] my mom what was wrong with the food and what was good,” Choi remembers fondly.
If only her late father could see how far her cooking has come, especially with the techniques she’s picked up spending every workday with chefs. “I can’t get enough of it,” says Choi. “It’s great to be around that sort of energy.”
In fact, for Choi, it can be an occupa- tional hazard. “Now I’m so used to going to the back of the house with the chef that going to restaurants [to just dine] makes me antsy,” she says. “I prefer to be in the middle of the action and to actually see the ingredients and touch them. Hand-to-mouth, I think, really just turns me on a lot more.” — Jimmy Lee

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ISSUE: Winter 2010