A Writer’s Life: Bride Gene Activate!

Post by shannon • May 25, 2011 • Post a comment

She’s baaack! Former ER writer Shannon Goss ponders life as a modern Asian American hapa woman.

When I was in college, two of my girl friends were physically unable to walk past a jewelry store without stopping to gape at the engagement ring display. I was never that girl.

It wasn’t that I was above coveting material things, after all, I was probably (im)patiently waiting for them to finish gawking so we could move on to Charlotte Russe. Apparently, the things I longed for could be purchased with one $20 bill. I wasn’t superior. I was cheap.

Another friend of mine, three months after her nuptials, exclaimed, “I loved my wedding!” And she meant it. Her wedding was her perfect day. I know. I was there. She continued on and somewhere between declaring it to be the best day ever and expressing how much she missed it, she realized who she was talking to. Me. Also known as the bridesmaid who, in the middle of said wedding weekend, ended up in a blowout fight with my then-boyfriend after realizing that all signs pointed to him being less than faithful.

One woman’s first day of the rest of her life is another woman’s last day of a two-year relationship.

As a side note, the beginning of the end happened in Honolulu. Hawaii is near and dear to me for many reasons, but it also happens to be the same state where my sister had a “beginning of the end” trip with a former boyfriend, prompting me to informally change Hawaii’s slogan from “The Aloha State” to “Not for Lovers!”

Regardless, it wasn’t my need for cheap threads or my own personal heartache that made me not relate to what my friends were doing or saying. It was simply that my bride gene had lain dormant. Until now. Or rather, until a sparkling engagement ring was placed on my finger last November. At that point the switch – for better or worse – had been flipped.

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